Blessings

Welcome to the world little niecelet of my heart, Maeve Olivia Rilo Searcy! Born October 21 at 8:57pm, just squeaking in on the Libra side of the cusp. Congrats wee one - you picked yourself some great parents!

Photos coming soon, I hear tell.

We can't wait to meet you.

What Dreams May Come

Sometimes it takes a big ole kick in the pants from your subconscious to get it into gear, does it not?

I've always been a dreamer. I don't mean in the starry-eyed romantic sense (although... well... that too). I mean literally - I dream often and vividly and I am frequently able to remember my dreams for more that 3 minutes after I wake up. I keep a dream journal, on and off, and luckily have captured some of the really cool ones so that all it takes is a reading through to bring it all rushing back.

This one was a morning dream, begun after the alarm had come and gone and finished about the time my youngest crawled into bed for some warmth and cuddles. The dream itself couldn't have been longer than 30 minutes, but it grabbed me and still hasn't let go.

It was simple, and devastatingly sad. Jer, my best friend of nearly 20 years, died. I'm not sure how - it was quick, unexpected. And nobody told me. When I found out I flew down to Peru, where he lives half of the time with his partner José, and where he had been when it happened, where his service had been held without me. I let myself into his house and looked through his things, trying to find something I could take with me to hold and remember, sobbing sobbing. I looked through his clothes and could still smell him, and I looked through photos, finding some he had taken of me when I wasn't paying attention. José wasn't there so I called him and told him how sorry I was - sorry for his pain, and sorry that I hadn't made it down to meet him, and to see them together while Jer was still around. All the time bereft, wracked with sobs, on my knees, filled with guilt.

When I got out of bed, the first thing I told Stephen, after detailing the dream, was that I was going to Peru in the spring. Jer has wanted me to - I've wanted to - for a long time, but the timing has never been right, the money has never been there, I've had commitments here, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

But there's only so much time, and we don't know how much that "so much" is, do we? We have the now, and if we're lucky the next moment and the next. And as much as we might want to deny it, as hard as we try to push it away - those moments are finite.

There's no time like the present. And there's no excuse that stands any scrutiny that I haven't met the man my best friend loves and shares his life with.

So yes. Peru! In March. I can't wait.

Geekin and Gigglin

Okay, so it's no "you goat bastard", but still... I just discovered that if you google for "geek giggle" (with or without the quotataion marks), I'm the first result. That amuses me no end.

Now say that 10 times fast: Google for geek giggle. Google for geek giggle. Cuckoo for cocoa puffs.

Doh!

The Amazing Internets

There is coincidence and then there is fucking boggle and right now I'm dealing with the latter. In fact, if I didn't know better, I'd say that it's proof positive that I am the center of the Universe. I might just be the new Kevin Bacon and from here out all the degrees of separation are measured from me.

Let me try to explain - and to get the full effect, you'll need to follow the white rabbit my links. I'm minding my own business, doing my several times daily surfing of flickr and blogs I like to read. First, I hit flickr. One of my friends had recently posted a very cute and very geeky photo of himself in 1971.

Then, I start on the blogs, and I hit Protected Static. It's a fun political/geeky/ranty blog written by a friend here in Seattle. He's updated - yay! - and this is the post. You'll notice at the bottom that he's added the category tags "geek" and "politics."

Now, always being on the lookout for cool things I might add to my own blog, ways of connecting and categorizing, I click the "geek" link to see what happens. What I expected was a list of all his blog postings tagged in the geek category.

Nope.

I nearly fell out of my chair. I mean - what are the chances?

(I've linked to a screen shot, because there's a reasonable chance that the Technorati "Geek" tag page will have changed by the time you see it; the highlighted photo is the most recently uploaded flickr photo tagged as such.)

So I ask - cosmic coincidence? Or a blip in the Matrix?

Knock knock, Neo.

Opa!

Right now, as I type this, my purse is in Crete. Sadly, I am not.

Yes, you read correctly, Crete - the Greek island (aka paradise). My friend Sandy is accompanying my purse on this adventure, as she attends what looks to be a fabulous creativity workshop. She asked me to come along, but my bank account informed me that I could only afford to send my purse.

Lucky purse.

Lucky Sandy.

Non-purse-wearing, non-paradise-enjoying me.

If anyone is interested in sending me to Crete or any of the other wonderful locations where said creativity workshops are being held, feel free to donate to my PayPal account. My world-travelling purse and I would promise to send you a postcard, and of course I'd blog the whole thing and dedicate the book I'm sure to write as a result to you.

The Missing Song

How am I to measure these feelings?
What the hell is one heartbeat away?
The distance doesn't care, it's completely unaware
Only the pounding of my heart is here to stay.
--Disappear Fear

Many thoughts about friendship, bitter and sweet, swirling today. I'm full of missing - missing Sherlyn (yes, already), who left this morning and who I won't likely see again for another couple of years, missing William (the lucky bum) who might at this very moment be cavorting with the honu in Hawaii, missing Jer - always, always missing Jer. Anastasia... Sheri... Mike.

A blessing and a curse of the internet - my life has been enriched beyond measure by the relationships that were made possible and/or strengthened by online communication, while at the same time I am separated by great distance from many of those whom I consider to be my closest friends. No dropping by for a quick visit or getting together for a movie; when you live in different time zones, even a phone call can be difficult to manage.

And yet. Even without seeing some of these folk for years at a time (Steve... Iggy... Krista), I'm continually amazed and gratified by how strong the connections remain.

Take Sherlyn for example (Please! Really! Take her! *g*). 10 years ago we started e-mailing after having "met" on the Indigo Girls mailing list. A few months later, she made her first trip to the States, staying with me in Ann Arbor for several days. We've probably, in total, spent less than a month of of actual face-to-face time in that 10 years, and both of us will admit that we're not the most consistent when it comes to regular e-mail correspondence. And yet, each time we get together, we're able to pick up where we left off as if she just lives up the block and we routinely borrow sugar from one another.

On a related topic, I've been struck lately by some new shifts that have happened at work (of all places!), brought about - again - by electronic communication. In the last few weeks, I've had virtual conversations that have crossed over that boundary that exists between co-workers into the realm of - not friendship, quite, but at least friendliness on a more personal level. It's been a really nice thing, allowing me to get to know people a bit better at a place where I usually function in self-imposed isolation (as I know that my days are numbered here, by my choice). That kind of communication, the meeting of minds and sharing of selves, is what feeds my soul, and I'm grateful for it in whatever context it arrives. Hurrah for IRC!

Synchronicity

The Universe is such a funny place. After whinging last night about how nobody ever looks me up or sends me missives out of the blue, I wake up this morning to a message from my old friend and college roomie Jami... who, over the years, has consistently been the one to nudge me, ever-so-gently, when I fall out of touch. Jami (JC for Jamicakes) is energy personified, and she gave me my longest-standing nickname, KB (short for Kristina-Bina) and I love her. And coincidentally she also reminded me that another college friend Wally, has recently sent me unprovoked e-mail (as he does every so often). So I am, apparently, thought of and not reviled by all who have ever known me. Whew.

And in the spot of honour...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JER!

May this year bring you buckets full of wonder and dreams realized. I love you bunches.