Tuesday, March 20, 2007

A Quick But Very Important Note

Dearest K -

I have some good news and some bad news.

First, as is the convention, the good news: you're not going to be doing the breast stroke anymore at the pool. I know how you dislike it... it feels slow and awkward, and the amount of snot you end up blowing out of your nose is unattractive to say the least. I know you felt that you needed to practice it, since you've heard from others that when you do the swimming leg of the Danskin tri it's difficult to do the crawl in the initial crowded field. Adding in one length per each four you swam was a good plan, it really was. You made a good effort. But that's done now.

Because... well, now it's time for the bad news: you hurt me. Shhh Shhh... it's okay. I know you didn't mean to - it's just that the breast stroke kick torques me in a way that causes me pain... I'm still aching, many hours later. In just two sessions, you've done what we managed to avoid the last two ski seasons. No, no - thankfully not as badly as before. But enough so that I have to put our mutual foot down and insist that you go back to the good ole flutter kick.

Thanks so much for the attention, and keep up the good work!

With Love and Flexibility,
Your Right Knee

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

I Hate Hillary (in case you were wondering)

I know, I know. You've been dying to know who I'm throwing my considerable political clout (*coff*) behind in race for Democratic Presidential nominee. I have indeed been thinking about it quite a lot lately, and here's what I've come up with so far.

The old-timers here know that the genesis of this blog coincided with the full bloom of my love affair with Howard Dean. And as much as I still love him in ways both holy and un-, and still think he would make an amazing President, I want him to stay exactly where he is right now - kicking butt and taking names in the Democratic party, leading us to victories in all 50 states, helping us take back Congress... oh, wait, he's already done that part. SUCK ON THAT, Terry McAuliffe.

So then my next choice is Al Gore, the last man actually elected President. Sadly, he continues to thwart me by not actually... oh, you know... running. Selfish bastard. I guess he'll continue to do good educating people about the whole global warming thing. Go Al!

Bill... well, he can't. Stupid 22nd Amendment.

When it comes down to the candidates who are actually running, I can't say that anyone makes my socks roll up and down the way Dean did. But I can tell you one person who I do NOT want to get the nomination. Hillary Freakin' Clinton. In my opinion, she is this election cycle's John Kerry (oh gods, please don't let that be an accurate prediction).

At first I didn't like her because of her vote to authorize this horrible, horrible war - and that's still a very good reason, no doubt about it. But now that she's been running for a bit, there is so much MORE to dislike about her. For example, who is the president of her campaign? Why, it's that sleazy toerag Terry McAuliffe, that's who. The man who so fucked over the Democratic nomination process last time around that we ended up with his cherry-picked "electable" candidate John Kerry. Oh, THAT worked out well, didn't it?

And then, today I read that Hillary ducked the question on whether she believes homosexuality is immoral. Apparently, she believes... it's for "others to conclude." You know what, Senator Clinton? You're courting the gay vote. You're asking for gay money. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on if you can't stand up and simply say "No, I do not. Next question."

I'm not saying I wouldn't vote for her if she (god forbid, spit three times) got the nomination, but I would throw up in my mouth while doing it.

So right now, that leaves me looking to Edwards and Obama. I like them. I don't LIKE them like them, but I like them well enough for now. My boyfriend, George Clooney, is backing Obama so that definitely gives him a bit of an edge because George, ruthless liberal that he is, and I traditionally see eye to eye on all things politic. But... oh, I don't know. I'd actually be more excited if George himself were running. Imagine having a George in the White House who wasn't an international embarrassment and danger to the Constitution.

So yeah. After all that, the big answer is... I don't know, though I'm leaning towards either the guy Clooney likes or the first candidate with enough guts to say "War is immoral, election theft is immoral, letting people go hungry and homeless and without health insurance is immoral, but two dudes kissing I have no problem with."

Hm. I may have just described Dennis Kucinich. Damn it.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Psssst... Earworm, Pass It On!

I woke up singing this.

I sang it while swimming.

It's going through my head right now.

You're welcome.